garden/Clippings/When Filipinos Fight with Filipino-Americans, No One Wins.md

---
author: Angel Martinez
title: When Filipinos Fight with Filipino-Americans, No One Wins
source: https://www.esquiremag.ph/long-reads/features/filipinos-filipino-americans-filams-filipinx-diaspora-a2819-20220813-lfrm2
clipped: 2024-06-16
published: 2021-11-03
topics: 
tags:
  - clipping
---

# When Filipinos Fight with Filipino-Americans, No One Wins

Whenever the term "Filipinx" trends on social media, it’s always the same old story. A group of Filipino-Americans uses the term to refer to themselves, posts about it online, and suffers extreme backlash. Most recently, it was a panel of Fil-Am creatives in pop culture at this year's San Diego Comic-Con. Their argument remained rooted in inclusivity, ours in resistance to Western ideologies. The ending? No one was satisfied. And unfortunately, for all parties involved, the conversation is bound to repeat in a few months’ time.

This isn’t a piece in defense of either camp: At this point, we’re aware that our relations with members of the diaspora were fractured long before the field of linguistics ever entered the picture. Just the language we use when we speak about Filipino and Filipino-Americans–”us” versus “them”–speaks volumes. We’ve been known to police them for the way they [prepare our signature cuisine](https://twitter.com/tasty/status/1286654144049291266), [poke fun at stereotypical depictions](https://twitter.com/RaquelLily/status/1410680131400699904) of those back home, and fail to engage with pressing local issues. 

While some of these corrections are warranted, approaching all our sparse interactions with them with the same air of hostility harms more than helps. In our desire to speak over them, we fail to see how Filipino-Americans come packaged with their unique set of struggles that inform the way they interact with our heritage. Choosing to understand why they are the way they are could be the key to finally meeting halfway.

## **Assimilation or Association**

It’s a common misconception among us homegrown Filipinos that those who have escaped the thorns of third-world life are automatically in a better place. But the Filipino-American experience has historically  had to contend with racism and xenophobia, with more organized campaigns to exclude Filipinos occurring since the late 19th and early 20th centuries.

“Among the first wave of Filipino immigrants in the 1920s to 1930s were generally unmarried, working class, male agricultural workers. Because of their class, occupation, and darker complexions, they were perceived as part of the lower end of the social order,” explained James Zarsadiaz, Ph.D., Associate Professor of History and the Director of the University of San Francisco’s Yuchengco Philippine Studies Program. “But things took a turn by the mid-1960s, given the [labor shortage in the US](https://www.brookings.edu/wp-content/uploads/1989/06/1989b_bpea_mitchell.pdf). The Hart-Cellar Act widened opportunities for Filipinos seeking a better life in America. Within a decade, thousands of medical professionals, teachers, caretakers, and business people fled to the States for a chance at what they saw as a better life. This is still the case today.” 

> But the Filipino-American experience has historically been steeped in racism and white supremacy, with more organized campaigns to exclude Filipinos occurring since the late 19th and early 20th centuries.

These Filipinos arrived in the U.S. at the tail end of the [civil rights movement](https://www.adl.org/resources/backgrounder/civil-rights-movement), when white Americans were grappling with the increasing diversity of the nation. So while they encouraged having a multicultural America, they also expected these newcomers to assimilate. Zarsadiaz elaborated: “Filipinos who settled in the 1970s and 1980s, for example, couldn’t help but wonder, ‘Is it alright to speak Tagalog in public or eat *turon* and *munggo*, or am I supposed to drop my Filipino-ness so I can demonstrate my ability in being a so-called assimilated American?’”

## **Stereotypes and Survival**

Filipino-Americans eventually turned to acculturation as a survival strategy against brutal stereotyping bolstered by Western media. Like many Asians, we’re normally relegated to the role of uptight honor student or funny best friend. But in addition, we’re seen as domestic helpers, cleaning staff, and nail ladies. It’s this inherent subservience in us that some white men are keen to take advantage of. Case in point: the numerous published [books](https://www.amazon.com/Meet-Date-Marry-Your-Filipina/dp/0989900916) and [YouTube videos](https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=filipina+wife) on how to bag the hearts of vulnerable Filipinas.

CONTINUE READING BELOW

Now playing :

Meet Eyedress, The Filipino Musician Making Waves In L.A.

To make matters worse, Filipinos are lauded for our ability to take these dehumanizing labels in stride. Anna A., a second-generation immigrant and the Education Development Chair of Anakbayan Washington D.C., observed how Filipino-Americans often fall prey to the model minority myth. “We’re often pegged to be the neutral good immigrants, compared to those who can be instantly villified like Latinos and Black people. They’re often told, ‘Why can’t you just get your job done? Why can’t you be like Filipinos, who shut up and keep everything inside and are generally just proud of this country?’” 

Abi Balingit, a first-generation Filipino-American and baking blogger based in New York, noted how Fil-Ams’ romanticized resilience gives way to exploitation in all areas of life. “I see people [brag online](https://twitter.com/sweatystartup/status/1480161176797552640), for example, that they’re building an app and finding ways to get cheap labor and their hack is just exploiting people from the Philippines. Being hardworking isn’t the single signifying marker of Filipinos and that shouldn’t be a reason to commodify us.”

> Filipino-Americans often fall prey to the model minority myth. 

From this side of the world, it’s easy to tell them to simply shrug these off. But Fil-Ams situated in places that aren’t cultural hotspots like the Bay Area or New Jersey are far more susceptible to whitewashing. “If you reside in a community with a sizable Filipino population, you likely have more access to products and ingredients from the Philippines or shop at businesses that play programs and music from back home,” Zarsadiaz discussed. “But if you’re in an area that has a minimal Filipino let alone Asian presence it’s a bigger battle to maintain one’s Philippine heritage and to pass down cultural traditions to subsequent generations.”

These echo chambers are much more pronounced in the virtual space, with modern-day algorithms and media bias hampering access to information from back home. “In a way, it makes sense,” Anna said. “The American Dream is built off the notion that you left your worse country to live in this better place. You shouldn’t have to care about what’s going on there anymore. You’re American now.”

## **Hostility from the Homeland**

As if this constant push-and-pull from Americans wasn’t already difficult enough for Fil-Ams, we continue to shut them out despite conscious efforts to engage with the culture.

“There’s a kind of a ‘damned if you do, damned if you don’t’ dilemma. Diasporic Filipinos apparently don’t have the authority to speak on XYZ topics that pertain to the Philippines. Unfortunately, even when Filipino-Americans are encouraged to deeply engage with their heritage, sometimes their efforts are dismissed as superficial and trite or they’re ‘trying too hard,’” Zarsadiaz observed. 

This judgment manifests in different ways but is a mainstay across generations: Immigrants bear the expectations of those back home to “make it big,” while their children draw flak for not meeting societal standards, for being too Westernized. And in a way, that’s true. Millennial and Generation Z Fil-Ams were conditioned to adhere to America’s rapidly individualistic and capitalist society: to chase after personal fulfillment, even if that means breaking cultural norms and structures of male dominance. This is actually what the usage of the term “Filipinx” aims to combat. 

> Millennial and Generation Z Fil-Ams were conditioned to adhere to America’s rapidly individualistic and capitalist society

Zarsadiaz explained: “Longstanding binaries in the West limit Filipino-Americans’ abilities to be their truest selves since these ideas are antiquated and rooted in the patriarchal structures of Christianity. So the usage of x, in a way, goes beyond the expression of gender identity. It’s railing against gendered expectations imposed on our bodies and reinforced through institutions or social ‘norms’ and attitudes. It’s suggesting that you’re someone who wants to disrupt certain pressures.” 

Regardless of whether or not this explanation speaks to us, language and culture both evolve in relation to external forces. n example is how we’ve grown to accommodate the usage of the terms SEA/Southeast Asian and Pinoy/Pinay.

## **What Happens Now?**

It would be unfair to pin all the blame on homegrown Filipinos when Fil-Ams also have their share of the work to do. Unlearning age-old norms is a long process, a succession of steps that sometimes poke at intergenerational wounds. But a great, low-stakes way to start is to reevaluate their current sources of information on the Philippines. This could mean both thoughtfully and intentionally curating their feeds to accommodate more credible local news outlets, and reassessing if the media they consume has affected the way they view their upbringing. And yes, this includes comedians whose only go-to punchline is *still* their mothers’ broken English.

Finding a community of fellow Filipinos is crucial to seeing themselves past restrictive stereotypes. “Once we see how we’re part of a much larger community that has historically made so much progress and gone through so much, you find a deeper sense of appreciation and pride in your roots,” said Anna, drawing from her experience as a member of a national democratic mass organization. 

For those in search of non-political alternatives, several colleges across the country have student-run organizations that celebrate Filipino culture. Outside of the academe, Filipino-Americans are also banded together by common hobbies and interests like our food or films. 

“In U.C. Berkeley, I found a tight network of fellow Filipino students, who I could talk to about all these things I didn’t have to explain but they could instantly relate to,” Balingit shared. “I’ve kept these connections and managed to make new ones with Filipinos in the food community. Through them, I learned a lot about their respective relationships to our common culture and how they inform their craft today.”

> Unlearning age-old norms is a long process, a succession of steps that sometimes poke at intergenerational wounds. 

These contexts serve as springboards for difficult but crucial questions and conversations. It may be humbling or even shameful for some Fil-Ams to admit that they’ve never been as interested in their roots as they’d hope to be. But there’s comfort in knowing that filling in the gaps has never been easier than it is today. 

For instance, last June, Anna hosted an international hybrid meeting with [Bahaghari](https://www.facebook.com/BahaghariLGBT/) for Pride Month, where they spoke about the history of LGBTQIA+ people in the Philippines.

“I’m a queer Filipino and yet, I had no idea about any of the stories they shared. That’s a very good way to know what’s happening in the Philippines: by being in communities that are immersed in contemporary issues or trying to highlight the struggles of minorities and pass the necessary legislation.”

Balingit, on the other hand, used food as her ultimate gateway to the rest of her culture and is currently writing *Mayumu,* a Fil-Am dessert cookbook.

“Before, I was alright with knowing just facts about my parents’ immigration and the general timeline of it. But I didn’t know the motivations behind it and their feelings that arose from that particular decision,” she admitted. “Now I feel like I’ve been prodded to ask these important questions: to tell my family’s stories and illustrate how I was raised on  Kapampangan food, which was the first introduction to my culture. I feel like just going through life and simply accepting things is not the best way to be anymore: We have such a dense history, and all this context is important to know who we are today.”

As our lived experiences are actively being sought out as a source of enlightenment, our responsibility then is to assist Filipino-Americans in their education process instead of allowing convenient prejudices to cloud our perception of them. Rather than accentuate the glaring differences we have (that are mere products of geographical location), let’s choose to remember the stronger thread that binds us together. 

“If there’s one thing I’d like homegrown Filipinos to remember about Filipino-Americans, it’s that we’re actually in our respective positions because of very similar things: dire economic issues, poverty, politicians who only act according to their own gain,” Anna said. “There’s a one in 10 chance that you could have been us: [10 percent of all Filipinos](https://www.lowyinstitute.org/the-interpreter/filipino-migrants-are-agents-change) in the world live in the diaspora. You could have so easily been in my position. You could have so easily been me.”

*Angel Martinez is a cultural critic and social trendspotter with a degree in Communications Technology Management from Ateneo de Manila University. Her essays on the internet, identity, and their intersections have been featured in VICE, i-D, Rappler, CNN Philippines, and The Philippine STAR. When she's not knee-deep in the written word, she enjoys reciting the entire press conference scene from Notting Hill and cuddling with the two best dogs in the world.*